Raising children is one of the hard and rewarding tasks in the world – and one for which you may feel unprepared.
Here’s a rundown of some of the most intriguing and informative research on Positive Parenting and 7 Habits that Lead to Extraordinary Outcomes.
1. Don’t give up on them just yet
This is a tough one, and it cuts to the heart of many parents’ disappointment.
But, in short, set high standards and stick to them, even if you receive eye-rolling (or worse) in reply.
It is based on 10-year research of 15,000 young women in the United Kingdom, which implied that children whose parents habitually reminded them of their high expectations were:
- more likely to be employed for lengthy periods as adults
- more likely to end up working in high-wage, jobs that they cherish
- more likely to have a college education
- less likely to get pregnant during teenage
2. Praise them properly
Parents frequently compliment their children on their abilities.
- You are incredibly intelligent, or brilliant, or whatever!
- You are a wonderful person who is always willing to help others.
- You are incredibly powerful, or quick, or agile!
In a nutshell, don’t do that. Or, at the very least, don’t limit yourself to that.
Carol Dweck, a Stanford University psychology professor, has found that praising children for their effort rather than their inherent ability is considerably more successful over time.
Research after research shows why. But, for the overview, keep in mind:
- Not something like, “Wow, you are a fantastic singer!”
- Instead say, “I am very amazed by the efforts you put into your singing and the song turned out so well.”
3. Do it more frequently than you think
Brigham Young University researched praise and criticism in elementary school classrooms. For three years, researchers sat in on 20-minute classroom sessions over and over, examining how teachers interacted with 2,536 students between kindergarten and first grade.
In other words, regardless of other situations, the more thoughtful praise teachers gave children, the better they performed. While teachers have historically been instructed to aim for a 4:1 or 3:1 praise to criticize ratio, the main study author Paul Caldarella asserted it this way: “There is no particular ratio. The better the accomplishment, the bigger the praise.”
This is, of course, in a classroom, not at home. But consider this: Do I respond better to meaningful criticism or to praise over time?
Also read – Cyberbullying: Navigating the Complex World of Bullying From Schoolyard to Social Media
4. Make them perform chores
This one stirs two studies to produce an interesting outcome. In a nutshell, the Harvard Grant Study, which is the world’s longest-running longitudinal research, revealed two elements to success and happiness:
- Love, and
- A strong work ethic.
That is all there is to it.
We will focus on the second point because the study found that forming a “pitch-in mindset” as a child is the most beneficial way to facilitate work ethic. And having to do domestic chores as a child is a fundamental, regulated method to ascertain that viewpoint. This was a memorable remark made by Julie Lythcott Haims, the former dean of freshmen at Stanford University, in her 2016 TED Talk.
The shortcoming? Children, particularly young children, are not always good at doing chores. You could sweep the floor more easily and quickly. Nonetheless, insist that they do it. It is not only about keeping the floor clean. It is all about figuring out how to live a happy life.
5. Hurry over to their side
This research resolves a conundrum that many parents encounter at times. This is how it goes:
If your child is wounded, makes a mistake, or faces a significant challenge, you should run to his or her aid. Comfort them.
A review of several types of research coalesces on one conclusion: rush to their aid and console them.
This does not suggest that you fix all of their problems for them, but it does imply that you affirm empathy and that you care. Adults who remembered their parents as being more in line with the first reaction were found to be more socially well-adjusted in all of the tests.
6. Pay attention to how they interact
If you can, do it anyhow, but an interesting study published in the journal JAMA Pediatrics found a link between kindergartens’ ability to be categorized as “prosocial” and their financial success 30 years later.
In Montreal, kindergarten teachers were asked to keep track of their children’s hyperactivity, inattention, physical violence, oppositional conduct, and prosociality.
Three decades ago, those who were ranked highest for prosociality as kindergarteners earned an average of $12,000 per year more than those who were rated low.
This is more of a diagnosis than a cure. One of the researchers, who was assured that working with young children who were not presocial, whether through quality daycare, extra attention at school, or other strategies, would pay off in the long run in terms of future economic stability.
7. Function of Money
Research published in the journal American Sociological Review looked at how extremely rich families, who theoretically can provide their children with any benefit money can buy, choose to spend their money.
What was the single most significant thing they did to give their children an advantage? Consider relocating to a rich neighborhood. Of course, class, money, and race aren’t the only facets at play, but it’s important to comprehend their importance in raising children and Positive Parenting.